Here goes nothing

Hello! If you’re reading these words, you will fall under one of these categories. Please pick yours and read the instruction that comes with it:

1. You know me, and I have linked you this blog and/or given you permission to read it. Hey dude. You better feel grateful, because this shit is going to get personal. You will probably look at me very differently after reading this.
2. You know me and you have stumbled upon this blog by accident, or you got this link from someone else. I have not given you permission to read it. OH PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CLOSE THIS AND TEXT ME. ASK ME BEFORE YOU READ IT, PLEASE. ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE FAMILY, GOD FORBID ONE OF MY PARENTS. I love you both to death, but this blog is very personal. I don’t want you to read about my favorite sex positions or how I survive on a single cookie and a pack of ramen a day. Please, ask my permission before you continue.
3. You have no clue who I am. Hey, welcome! I’m so honored that you’re taking the time to read this! Please enjoy, I hope I can make you smile.

My name is Fiona. Well, no it’s not. I’d rather stay anonymous, for reasons you’ll find out in a bit. I’m a 20 year old college student and I live in the Netherlands. So why is this blog in English if I’m Dutch, you say? (you probably didn’t really say this, because who the hell cares.) Well, Dutch is a really fucking awkward language. I’ve studied English for 2 years at college and I use it daily, so I’m confident that my autocorrect and I can do this.

Now that we’ve been introduced, the next question is: What is this?

This is my personal blog, in which I rant about my life. I have a lot of thoughts about a lot of things, and instead of keeping them inside, or boring my friends with them, I figured I should write them down. It’s healthy, I think. And I like to write.

I am publishing it, but I’m really not here for the attention. I just want a place where I can vent, which is why this blog will not be professional in the slightest. I will write whatever I want, whenever I want. I won’t proofread or care about the length of each entry; it’s primarily just for me (and maybe my psychologist when I end up in a mental institute). However, if a few people DO start reading this, I will really like that, too. If I can make even one person smile with this, I’d be really happy. So feel free to reach out to me and discuss my blog posts with me! I’d love to chat.

And what can you expect from these entries?

Think to yourself: what does a white, 20 year old, female, single college student think about? Whatever came to your mind, I will probably write about. It will be unfiltered and personal, no lies, bullshitting or sugarcoating. Just my real life experiences and my honest thoughts and opinions about those experiences. With some embarrassing attempts at humor and advice sprinkled throughout.

I can predict that most of these will be about love, though. Or more specifically, the lack of it. I am very single, but not for a lack of trying. I am also not very unlovable; I am fairly attractive, not an idiot and I can hold a conversation sometimes. I just haven’t found him yet (yes, unfortunately, I am straight. Well, maybe not entirely. I might write a piece about it.) (LMAO did I really just call one of these piece of shit entries a ‘’piece’’? check your ego, Fiona). Anyway, guys, sex, relationships and love do keep me and my thoughts busy a lot. Think of it as a 2017, young, Dutch Sex and the City column. Except a lot less successful. A lot.

And I guess that’s all for the first entry! Who knows, it might be the last, if I suddenly decide I’m too lazy to write this all down, but I really do hope it might bloom into something. I’m happy to have you aboard, and I hope you can get some enjoyment out of this! But for now,

Love,

Fiona